"

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

"

boyirl:

whatever *keep sucking dicks*

http://righttochoose.tumblr.com/post/92928122985/bryxhearsxmusic-righttochoose

bryxhearsxmusic:

righttochoose:

bryxhearsxmusic:

I love how I’ve consistently seen pro-lifers call pro-choicers ‘pro-choicers’, but I’ve consistently seen pro-choicers call pro-lifers ‘anti-choicers’.

Like yeah screw mutual respect right?

i do not have “mutual respect” for…

"

I wonder if you noticed that my heart broke when you walked away with him
I wonder if you saw that the light in my eyes faded into the galaxies
the night sky engulfed you, just as your eyes did to me.

blue was never a good enough description
the gods and goddesses would marvel at their beauty
and I wonder if you even saw them at all,
you probably thought they were grey and dismal
but they struck me as sapphires hidden behind the clouds

and I wonder if you saw that I hated you
or that I hated him;
the midnight thief, your saviour
I could never live up to it
I could barely live at all
and the truth is I hate myself.
I couldn’t make you love me
with all your soul and your being

"